1/14/07
An Introduction, of sorts...
WHENEVER I am told about the discourtesy of others (and surely you don’t think they are lining up here to turn themselves in), most people like to generalize. It is apparently less satisfying to be battered by a rude individual than by a whole group of them. Thus I keep being alerted to two categories of rude people:
- People Who Should Know Better
- People Like That
Etiquette crimes committed in both categories are much the same. It is reported that these people don’t know the basic decencies of how to eat, dress or talk, respond, reciprocate or thank, but have mastered infinite ways of enraging decent folk. Yet the first set’s behavior is met with shock, while the second’s cause not the least surprise.
Both groups of rude people will argue their side, if confronted, and in most cases are often unaware of their faux pas. Usually, this is because no one took the time to teach them. And, I have found that there is far too little politeness to go around.
I try at all times to be polite. Even when treated badly, I respond courteously. This is generally referred to as Not Stooping, or Shaming Them, or Setting A Good Example.
By no means, do I mean to say that I have never had the desire to BE RUDE. How one longs to strike back when confronted by a rude person. But, my dear ones, two wrongs do not make a right, and if rudeness begets rudeness, which then begets more rudeness, where will it all end? I do not allow rude people to spoil my life, but I do not seek satisfaction in spoiling theirs.
What, then, does one do with one’s justified anger? My meager arsenal consists only of the withering look (sometimes, referred to simply as The Look*), the insistent and repeated request, the cold voice, the report up the chain of command and the tilted nose. They generally work. When they fail, I have the ability to dismiss inferior behavior from my mind as coming from inferior people.
You will perhaps point out that I will never know the joy of delivering a well-deserved pop in the mouth. True – but I will never inspire one, either.
* The Look, it consists of a tight little smile, in which the mouth curves upward but the eyes are fixed with a decidedly unhumorous intensity. You may need to practice, but I assure you that it is worth the effort. Done properly, it freezes an errant child in their tracks and dampens the desire for defiance with the dread of what is to come.
- People Who Should Know Better
- People Like That
Etiquette crimes committed in both categories are much the same. It is reported that these people don’t know the basic decencies of how to eat, dress or talk, respond, reciprocate or thank, but have mastered infinite ways of enraging decent folk. Yet the first set’s behavior is met with shock, while the second’s cause not the least surprise.
Both groups of rude people will argue their side, if confronted, and in most cases are often unaware of their faux pas. Usually, this is because no one took the time to teach them. And, I have found that there is far too little politeness to go around.
I try at all times to be polite. Even when treated badly, I respond courteously. This is generally referred to as Not Stooping, or Shaming Them, or Setting A Good Example.
By no means, do I mean to say that I have never had the desire to BE RUDE. How one longs to strike back when confronted by a rude person. But, my dear ones, two wrongs do not make a right, and if rudeness begets rudeness, which then begets more rudeness, where will it all end? I do not allow rude people to spoil my life, but I do not seek satisfaction in spoiling theirs.
What, then, does one do with one’s justified anger? My meager arsenal consists only of the withering look (sometimes, referred to simply as The Look*), the insistent and repeated request, the cold voice, the report up the chain of command and the tilted nose. They generally work. When they fail, I have the ability to dismiss inferior behavior from my mind as coming from inferior people.
You will perhaps point out that I will never know the joy of delivering a well-deserved pop in the mouth. True – but I will never inspire one, either.
* The Look, it consists of a tight little smile, in which the mouth curves upward but the eyes are fixed with a decidedly unhumorous intensity. You may need to practice, but I assure you that it is worth the effort. Done properly, it freezes an errant child in their tracks and dampens the desire for defiance with the dread of what is to come.
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